Am I afraid of failure and rejection?

There was a time when I thought that I was afraid of failure and rejection. But it turns out that I actually don’t mind. What I really can’t stand is not getting a reaction at all, being ignored. It’s not even about it being rude, it’s about getting this feeling of not even being worth of hearing ‘no’. You know, I’ve made an effort, I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone to ask for something and there’s nothing. Just echo of my own words.

Although I struggled and still do to feel accepted by people, I’d take a hard ‘no’ above indifference. The clear message is so much easier to accept. It also gives me possibility to move on, to look somewhere else, to let go of something that is never going to happen. Be it work or friendship.

I know that many people are afraid of saying ‘no’ and choose to remain silent instead, to wait it out, to do noting. And I also know that many people prefer to hear nothing above the rejection, because it gives them hope, the possibility of it still happening.

But me, I prefer clarity. I prefer knowing above uncertainty. I prefer certainty above hope.

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